Archive | March, 2013

I’m a Facebook Faker

3 Mar

My mother and I discuss it, my friends and I discuss it, our pastor referred to it in a recent sermon…  there are people who, according to their Facebook page, have the most amazing and perfect lives.  Their spouses are fantastic, their children are angelic, their food never burns, their plumbing never fails.  These people, their lives cannot really be so idyllic.  They are fakers.

For anyone who is wondering, I am not that person.  If you look at my status updates or talk with me for 90 seconds, you will see this for yourself.  But, I have a confession.  Folks, I am a faker, too.  If you look through my Facebook page, you won’t see my world through rose colored glasses.  Instead the lenses of those glasses are cracked and one might wonder if I ever have a happy day.  Yep, I am a faker, alright.

Let me explain myself.  I have friends right now who are walking the road of infertility; whose spouses have cheated; whose children bring them heartache; and who are lonely and depressed.  And, I am absolutely mortified at the thought that they might look through their news feed, see me glowing about life, and feel sad or discouraged or frustrated because of the struggles they are facing.  Instead, I want them to laugh at my kids or my Sonic obsession.  I want them to recognize that they aren’t alone when it comes to heartbreak or exhaustion.  But, somehow I have erred in my journey to steer so far from that artificially sweet picture of my life.  I have done a poor job of showing my blessings and letting my Facebook friends know that despite the madness, I am a woman who is just flat out covered by the grace of God.  As my pastor told me, “Most people’s lives aren’t as perfect as they seem on Facebook, but Beth Ann, your life isn’t as bad as it seems on Facebook!”  And the truth is that even with this admittance, I am probably still not going to be very good at balancing my Facebook life.  So, let me set the record straight now.

Matt and I have had our share of struggles, I have lost two children to miscarriage, and my youngest child has a rare metabolic disease, but my life is so very far from the pit of despair.  In fact, the daily soundtrack playing in my head is Edwin McCain singing, “I’ve got all I’ve waited for, and I could not ask for more.”  My goals in life were to be a wife and a mother, and for every second that I feel crazed by those things, I have a thousand seconds of utter bliss and joy.  My cup runneth over, really and truly.

The absolute and total truth is this: God is good, all the time–even when I do a poor job of showing it.