Not so funny

6 Apr

I have always had the idea that if I am laughing at myself, then it won’t stink as badly when other people are laughing at me.  I don’t know that my beating others to the punch has always worked in my favor, but I have stuck with it anyway.  That being said, I put a lot of pressure on myself to be funny and when I am not, then I feel a little panicked.  So for the past month, I haven’t really had a funny blog in me for various reasons, and it has been stressful.  

Well, the “not so funny” me continues tonight as I am winding down from a very sad day.  For one, it has been a day of great trial with Norah.  She has pushed every button and thrown quite a few tantrums.  There are some things that I need to do better with her and intend to do, but my exhaustion has been my excuse for not following through.  And yet for every frustrating second of my day, tonight I type this with such sheer gratefulness to have her stubborn little self in my life.

Some friends of ours suffered the cruelest of fates this morning when their 3 year old son died.  He was sick last night, they checked on him early this morning, but he later died.  I cannot even begin to imagine the nightmare that today has been as they racked their brains and answered questions, as they made plans for his service and burial, as they held their other three young children.  I know that the only thing I can do is pray, yet it seems so minuscule to the “fixer” in me.  

I cannot pretend to even remotely understand God.  For everything that I could possibly grasp about the Lord, I know that there are a million things about Him that are so far from my realm of thinking.  And on days like today, I have to remind myself that He sees a picture far greater than I see.  He is bigger, stronger, and greater than death so much so that He actually conquered it.  Our hope is in the cross.  My only hope is in the cross.

Tonight as I go to bed, I will continue to pray to He who is greater than me on behalf of those who are left here weeping.  And I imagine I will be unable to escape the picture in my mind’s eye of a laughing, blonde haired boy named Hank running on the streets of heaven.

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