Archive | June, 2016

Stupid Smoothie

26 Jun

This afternoon, I almost had a panic attack while making a smoothie.

Some points to note before I go on:

  • I was in the kitchen attempting to be healthy and creative which is a reason for anyone who knows me well to get worried.
  • I was using a cheap-o blender. I am a cheapskate and wouldn’t dream of spending more than $20 on one.
  • Matt and the 2 older kids were at a neighbor’s house so I was at home with the Isaac and the twins.
  • The twins are 23.99 months old (as I type this, they turn 2 in a matter of minutes!) and are every bit the tantrum pitching toddlers you might imagine.

I made a terrible mistake in that I told Isaac before I started working on what I thought would be an awesome fun summer afternoon treat. He was excited. I was excited. Expectations ran high, my friends, expectations ran high.

I started running the blender. The twins ran towards me screaming at the top of their lungs. They did not go away from the loud noise. Nope, they clung to my legs right next to the blender while I tried to talk them off the figurative ledge. But, to their great relief, I had to turn the noisy thing off as something got clogged within the bowels of this blender that was literally the cheapest one on the shelf in Target the day I was shopping for it.

Isaac came in at this point to ask if his special treat was ready because he isn’t old enough to realize how poorly I function in culinary endeavors. I sent him out of the room as I used a large spoon to attempt to remedy whatever was happening in the blade area.

I ran the blender, stopped the blender and stirred, ran it some more, stopped and stirred some more.  It was a vicious cycle of me fighting with the blender, the twins screaming at my feet, Isaac looking expectantly at me. And I honestly don’t know how long it went on, but it was a while.

And then I smelled what I am going to assume is a blender a few moments before it begins to smoke and catches fire. Thankfully, God decided to spare me and the flames never erupted. And while I was attempting to squelch this potential disaster, the twins were still hanging on my legs screaming. (Did I mention that one of said children refused to nap today? Cause he did.)

Quickly, I started sweating profusely, there was a slight ringing in my ears, and above all else, my chest felt restricted as I breathed.  I just knew that if I didn’t get those boys to stop touching me, I was going to lose my mind.

So, I left the kitchen a big ole mess and led my tiny troops out onto the front porch without worrying about shoes or pants for the twins.  (Side note, what is the deal with them removing their clothes all the time? When their pants are off, they then take their diapers off, and I am tired of chasing them around in fear of pee on my floors!)

Long story short, Matt came home and watched the boys while I finished the smoothie that I didn’t even end up drinking because it tasted awful.

Stupid smoothie.